amy walker personal coaching

Cost vs gain: Raising kids in an entrepreneurial household?

I started my first business when my first son was about 5 months old.  I earned my first free car in my network marketing business when my second was 3 weeks old.  I advanced to the position of sales director the same year I had my 3rd baby. When I had my 4th, I was speaking on stages in front of hundreds of people.  I waddled on stage. And I launched Amy Walker Consulting 6 weeks before my 5th son was born.  My children have all been raised watching me build my business. When the older three were little, I ran that business part time.  With my last two, I’ve worked pretty full time. My kids truly don’t know any other lifestyle than business.

I frequently see women place a glass ceiling on their income potential because of their families.  I get it, none of us wants our families to suffer.  If it came down to choosing my family or my business, family would win every time.  

Can I rock your brain here for just a moment?  What if the idea that my family suffers at the expense of my business was a complete lie?  What if the reality was that your family suffers when you do not do your business?  Because in my experience I have seen the second question to be true more often than the first.  

Let’s have an honest conversation about sacrifice.  Your family WILL sacrifice for you to build your business.  I call these sacrifices costs and your family will pay the price.  Here are some common sacrifices in my world. My kids cannot come in and talk to me whenever they feel like it.  They need to wait until I am done working.  I do not attend every field trip or volunteer weekly in their classes. Instead I attend one field trip per year for each kid, and attend 90% of their school functions that they are presenting or performing at. I don’t sew costumes or bake for functions.  I buy stuff and often times send an assistant to buy them for me. I don’t babysit my kids on their responsibilities.  They are expected to manage their own.  If they are struggling with turning in homework or getting projects done, we talk about it, and we come up with a plan to improve that includes specific types of support from me, and more accountability from them. They do not have as much done for them as most of their friends their age.

It is also important to point out what costs they do not pay. They do not lack for love, listening, understanding, support, or family fun time.

Now let’s look at the benefits or the gain.  My children are learning success principles in their childhood that most adults are figuring out in their 30’s and 40’s.  My children understand the value of money.  They see the work it takes to create it.  They see that how you invest it makes a difference on how much you have in the future.  They have no mental limitations on what they can or cannot do as adults. Success to them is simply a matter of deciding what they love enough to monetize. They are growing up in a structured environment where time is our greatest resource and is used wisely.  For example, one Saturday a month we do a family work day.  One Saturday a month we do a family fun day.  One Saturday a month there is a scouting activity, and one Saturday a month we have a chill day. Saturdays are precious for us and we do not waste them.  We make all decisions based on what is best for our family, not on what we can afford.

I am not claiming to be a perfect mom.  I think perfect parents are about as fictional as unicorns and centaurs. I am saying that I recognize that my business is a blessing to my family.  I believe in stay at home moms who have the business of raising their families.  And I believe in moms running successful businesses.  I do not believe in moms running struggling or small producing businesses.  I find that those women pay my costs, and more.  They also have the cost of financial stress, mental exhaustion from thinking about their business all the time, and guilt from knowing they could do more than they are doing. And they don’t have the gain to balance out the cost.

The key to shifting into a dynamic that provides more gain that cost for your family is to get clear on what prices you are not willing to pay.  Protect the things that are essential to you.  Be willing to adjust everything non-essential in order to create the results you need and want. And allow your family to see the benefits of your business! 

 For more details : You can visit our Website : http://amywalkerconsulting.com/ .

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From Frozen In FEAR To Flying With FAITH?

Last week the hubs and I went on an early 15thanniversary trip to The Dominican Republic.  It was Ah-MAZING!  I went with a few goals in mind. I wanted to connect with my honey, rest and relax, but I also wanted to experience a breakthrough.  I wanted to come home in a better state of mind than I left, more ready to reach my goals and experience success.

The day before we came home, we went on an excursion to Adventure Park in Punta Cana.  I highly recommend it, the people were great!  I love adventure so we chose to forego the Segway tour and chose the extreme zipline and ropes course.

They were challenging!  It’s a good thing I’ve had toddlers to carry around for the last few years because that was the only thing contributing to my upper body strength.  It was hard, but I was working from determination and strategy.  I had a guide who would go ahead and show me what to do.  He was there if I needed him.  When I struggled he would give me encouraging words in Spanish.  I may not have understood them, but I appreciated them!  I was sweaty, and tired, but pleased with my accomplishments.

Then we got to the end of the course and he said in a thick accent “Walk the plank.”  I looked around trying to figure out the next set of ropes we were going to climb and he said, “No, no.  Walk the Plank.”  And he pointed to a board, 50 feet in the air that I was supposed to jump off of.  And this time, he didn’t offer to go first.  I froze!

I’ve been cliff jumping, and bridge jumping, but at least you know you are heading into water.  This time there was nothing except me, my harness, the ground, and a really skinny guy at the bottom saying, “I catch you.”  I could feel the panic creeping in.  The guy at the bottom started tugging on my rope, and I braced myself and pulled back.  The guide I had been with gave me some nudges on my back and I pushed back.  I even tried the count to three method and just screamed on three and still my legs did not move.  This fear caught me totally off guard.  It came out of nowhere!  I’d been high up off the ground the whole day.  I had been doing “scary” things all day.  But for some reason, this plank had my number.  

I’d wanted a breakthrough on this trip, and it came in the form of a plank!  You see this plank paralleled exactly what I have been doing in my business and exactly my next step in life!  I LOVE coaches and mentors.  I LOVE having people to follow.  I am so capable of doing hard things, and things that scare other people.  I pride myself on being willing to take every step and just keep moving.  

But in that moment, on the plank, the reason my brain was freaking out so much was because I was going to have to go first into the unknown.  There was no one to follow and study how they did it.  It was just me and I had to lead the way.  I remember thinking, “Why can’t Stephen just go first?  I just need to see what I am up against.”  I knew at some point my rigging would slow down my plunge.  But I didn’t know how far I would drop before that happened.  I didn’t know how fast I would be traveling. Or how to brace myself for impact.  And I was terrified.

I found the courage, made the jump and immediately thought, “That wasn’t bad!”  I should do that again!  

Here’s what I learned from being frozen in fear.  I need to increase my willingness to step into the unknown.  I love having a plan and aligning with successful people to follow.  But in the past, I have slowed down my growth because I was waiting for someone else to go first.  So I’m increasing my commitment to leading into uncharted territories.  I have just announced to the world my next step in business, and it feels a lot like standing on that plank.  Your planks are all at different levels, but you can probably relate to my challenge.  It’s easy for the guy on the ground to say, “You’ll be fine!”  That guy already knows what the jump looks like.  I do this all of the time with women trying to reach the 6 figure mark.  I know you can do it, because I’ve done it. I like being the guy on the ground! But it is an entirely different experience being the one about to take the plunge into the unknown.

I still had guides and support.  I still had my gear, I still had my plan.  I had just come to the point where I had to make the leap of faith.  I wish I could tell you a step by step process when you are at that point.  But I imagine it’s a little different for everyone.  For me, I reminded myself that the longer I stayed frozen the more the fear would take hold.  And then I flipped the switch from fear to faith that it would all come together.  And that my friends, is exactly what I am doing in business and in my life right now!  Who knew walking the plank could be such a good thing? Read more......!

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I will be with Week 7 from the Company Competence System. Many of us chose to invest straight into this particular education due to the fact My spouse and i recognized strong down there was a new gap around my process without issue just how difficult My spouse and i studied the item, My spouse and i couldn’t determine the item out and about. If the opportunity to become taught by simply presented alone all of us dived on there. Doing this particular my spouse and I wasn’t rather positive what to expect you'll obtain. My spouse and i thought I'd personally understand marketing and advertising strategies, how you can generate qualified prospects, a number of personal improvement methods yet that's doubtful an excessive amount of level straight into in which. I'm able to enjoyably acknowledge My spouse and i ended up being pleased at the number of level all of us get into weekly with the two company strategies as well as private growth! It’s remarkable! The details occurs at us rapidly nevertheless the method is placed way up in the great solution to construct on last week’s growth consequently there's a superb move among each examine period.

I am for a long time pleased with the understanding, equipment, as well as training's I've experienced with Heather Sort as well as Amy Walker. I will be consequently content I've the deal around my living and also the timing, nonetheless difficult or even difficult it is, has been great! The actual support I am from this lot of people is designed for in which I will be. I will be excited with the other half that's yet ahead! I'd personally recommend the deal to help every person!

Caused by helping having Amy Walker with the prior 12 months, my personal month to month revenue features bending, my personal top end rate has become my personal reduced conclude rate as well as I had this valor as well as self-confidence to maneuver straight into my very own specialized workplace immediately after 7 several years associated with individual exercise with someone else’s living space. The best element can be i have more time period having my family, more hours to help play as well as, I will be taking important time period pertaining to personally. You would think I'd personally find this particular with 7 several years associated with mindset examine, yet My spouse and i last but not least realized the item coming from Amy!

Amy Walker is smart, enjoyable, as well as revolutionary. Your lover brings an original mixture of education as well as entertainment to help her activities. I’ve chosen her as a keynote for many activities as well as, when without having crash, My spouse and i abandon having understanding in which aids my personal associations become more powerful as well as my personal career be a little more productive. Most importantly, generate an income importance personally boosts. If you have the ability for being mentored by simply her, or even enroll in among her activities, don't be reluctant! ” The business enterprise training curriculum I have been playing as a result of Amy Walker features made it easier for me personally growing my personal company. The relevant skills I've realized get allowed me personally to create much better utilization of my personal time period as well as achieve much more individuals. I've more than bending the size of my personal classes as well as my personal closing rate has been next to 100%! More important include the equipment she has shared with me personally that contain stimulated me personally to help think beneficial regarding personally as a female, partner, as well as mother. My spouse and i go to bed through the night today feeling productive to all regions of my well being. Thank you Amy! ” I've realized so much coming from Amy! I've participated in several associated with her webinars, observed her speak reside at a number of conventions and also participated with her 5 month lengthy helping team. By employing as well as making use of the equipment in which Amy instructs to help my well being I have been propelled into a whole new a higher level living! In just 5 short many weeks I've stretched as well as harvested much past precisely what My spouse and i believed ended up being probable. She's made it easier for me personally throw open my personal capacity by simply taking care of trapped emotions as well as chaotic thoughts making sure that I'm able to complete stuff deliver AUTHENTIC achievements as well as AUTHENTIC delight. I will be consequently pleased to help Amy! ” For more details : amy walker radio host.

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Everyone wants to close more sales!  It’s one of the most frequent questions my coaching team and I field.  How do I improve my sales?  The answer however is not so simple, there are many factors that go into closing sales.  Did you position your offer correctly?  Did you overcome objections strongly?  Did the intensity of the problem match the intensity of the solution?  Were you offering to the right people in the first place?  And last but definitely not least, were your products and services priced appropriately?

Pricing can be tricky and this is one of the areas that I see my clients second guessing frequently.  Are they priced too high?  Are they priced too low?  What product should they offer in each setting?  It’s actually a very big topic to cover and there are no hard fast rules.  I kind of feel like an English teacher saying “This is the rule, until of course you have an exception.”  Consider these helpful principles to assist you in pricing your products!

• Never compete to be the least expensive. That is a battle you will not win.  All it takes is for some newbie to come in and undersell you and all of your clients take a mass exodus to XYZ brand who is now $2 less than you.  When you are competing for being the least expensive in your industry, you are attracting the least loyal type of customers.  And there will always be a Walmart somewhere you can come in with lower prices than you.

• If you are going to be the most expensive, you have to clearly show why your value is higher than others. I am not the most expensive business coach, but I am definitely not the least expensive. When we are selling programs, we make sure that we have detailed outlines of all that is included.  We have found ways to add in additional value into programs in the form of client days, Q and A calls, and FB groups for extra support.  We also have awesome client testimonials.  All of those things help support us in maintaining and collecting on our current price points.

• People tend to be willing to pay the most for services that will increase their income. Next will be services that will benefit their families.  And if you are selling to women, they tend to put their needs last.  So you will need to show them that investing in themselves will benefit their families!

• If your closing ratio is consistently higher than 50%, your programs are probably priced too low. If your closing ratio is lower than 10%, I’d first look at your sales skills and then look to see if you are over priced.

• Here’s some pricing information for coaching programs. Membership sites tend to range between $10-$50 a month. A fully automated program (Everything is online) can be in the following ranges: 4 weeks $99-499. 6 weeks, $250-$1500, and 8 weeks, $499-$2000.  Adding in any type of live coaching to support the online programs will allow you to charge more.  Live Group coaching can range from $1500-$20,000 for a year. And One on one coaching is anywhere between $2500-100,000 a year.  I know those numbers are so varying that it still doesn’t give you a lot to go off of.  My advice to start by having programs and services to fill those different spots in your product funnel.  That way you have multiple places where people can buy in to what you offer.

• Products: Books pricing depends on the length of the book. But most paperbacks will sell well between $14.99-25.00.  Audio Books are usually $5-15 more than the paperback and Kindles are usually $5-15 less than the paperback. Single CD’s will sell well between $15-29.00.  CD sets can sell for $99-300 fairly easily

• What should you sell and where? The higher the price point, the more interaction I recommend.  I’m not saying you can’t sell a $30,000 package online, I’m just saying it’s not nearly as likely as in a face to face meeting.  These are my general guidelines. If I am on a webinar or conference call with a new audience, I usually offer something around $250, and never more than $1000.  If I am on a webinar or conference call with a responsive and seasoned audience, I will be more likely to offer in the $1000 range.  At a live speaking event, with a brand new audience I’ll keep the numbers very similar to the new webinar audience.  If it is a warm audience, I’ll likely offer something around $2000.  And if it is a hot audience, like a room full of current or past clients, I will talk about my high end programs.

Again, this is not an exact science.  You will need to try things out with your audience and see at what price you can get the people to move.  Happy pricing and happy selling. See more at : amy walker international business coach.

amy walker business coach

Are You Hiding in Your Business and Family?

This weekend was heart-changing for me. Twice a year my family takes a spiritual recharge weekend and this was one of them.  We hang out at home, listen to talks from leaders in our faith, eat crepes, play games and talk about what we want to accomplish as a family.  My soul gets hungry for these weekends.  I always walk away with great insights and most of them are just for me, but I have one I want to share with all of my readers.

I had an inspired question come into my mind this weekend.  “Are you hiding in your business and family?”  It took me off guard because I used to hide behind my family as a reason not to succeed in business.  And when I get overwhelmed with family, sometimes I have hid behind business as a reason not to plug in with them.  But it’s been a while since I have shown up in those ways.  I’ve been very conscious of growing my business and family in harmony with each other.  So my first response to that question was confusion.

I thought it through again, “Am I hiding IN my business and family?”  The second time, I got it.  

My voice is powerful, inspired, bold, loving, moving, crucial, and change-inducing.  My voice matters, and so does yours.  I am a leader, and so are you.  I have a message to share with the world, and so do you.  I have a personal work and mission I believe is divinely appointed, and so do you.  

I want you to join me in considering this question.  Are you hiding in your business and family?

My life’s mission is to inspire and educate people who desire more for themselves, their families and their communities to learn the skills to create change.  I want more good people successfully doing good in the world.  I want more men and women who don’t just dream about living in greatness, they actually do it.  I want more good people with financial freedom and time freedom who are using their time and resources to fight the injustices we see every day across the globe.  I want stronger families who have engaged and present parents, happy marriages, and personal fulfillment.  And I want my family to be so strong in their faith and personal greatness that we lead the charge in making the world a better place.

When I evaluate that message and how I show up in business and at home, my answer is that yes, I am hiding.  In business, I hide behind training on sales, leadership and marketing.  In my family I hide behind schedules, family work, and the activities that keep us busy.

I’m pretty sure I am not alone in this experience.  Are you letting your product and programs take over your bigger mission?  Are you letting your busy schedules take over the time you need to personally inspire in your relationships?

If your answer is yes, join me in re-calibrating!  You won’t have to do a 180 and change everything you are doing.  This is more of a 5 degree change.  Be intentional in why you are doing everything you are doing.  Speak your truth in business and at home.  Give yourself permission to be a leader.  Take time listening to the inspiration that will help you truly plug in with your message.  And then have COURAGE.  Not everyone is going to subscribe to your vision.  Some people might not even like it. Do it ANYWAY!  This is your life’s work.  You can do it! 

For more details : http://amywalkerconsulting.com/. 

amy walker consulting

Want to kick overwhelm to the curb for good?

“I’m just so overwhelmed right now!”  I hear this so often from business owners and clients.  I’ve felt it.  You’ve felt it.  Let’s be honest every member of the human race has felt it!

I don’t know how it shows up for you, but for me it looks like a mental to do list that is longer than the hours in the day.  It looks wishing I had someone to delegate to, but realizing that those people also have full plates.  It looks like an inbox full of urgent needs on a day that I have zero time to do anything about it.  It looks like getting done with work, just to jump into mom mode and manage homework, projects, music lessons, dinner and get everyone out the door for scouts on time.  Oh wait… I just described a NORMAL day in my life!

Here is my BEST advice on how to live a life without overwhelm.  Understand that overwhelm is an emotion not an experience.  The situations I just described are my norm.  I run a very awesome and fast growing company.  That is a demanding role.  I also run a fantastic family of 7.  BELIEVE me that is a demanding role! I could spend every day of my life overwhelmed.  But I choose not to.  I recognize that I can feel overwhelmed in hard situations or in easy situations.  I can feel peace in hard situations or in easy situations. Once we accept this crucial fact, we can start progressing towards a life of peace! Here are some tips to help you move into your life of productivity and peace!

1. Fight the urge to drift back into the comfort zone.  “You don’t have to do so much.  You’re just under too much pressure.  You don’t have to be super woman, just scale back a bit.”  That is such deceptively bad advice!  It sound great.  It feels great.  But if you follow it, you will spend your life living below your potential.  I am NOT suggesting you over commit and over schedule yourself in activities that are not going to take you towards your long term goals.  But I AM saying, when you are working towards building your business, or something equally as important, it’s going to have moments of overwhelm.  If you stop every time you feel it, you back off, you will spend your life fighting battle number 1.  Learning to do hard things without getting lost in overwhelm is the first battle you must win in order to live a life of success!
2. Don’t work stressed. I have a policy that I do not continue to work while I am stressed.  I create 10-15 minutes to go for a walk, do some yoga stretches, journal, or go do some aromatherapy.  Working stressed is counterproductive.  You are less focused.  You get less done.  And your to do list piles up even more because you are not completing tasks. You are too busy not to slow down and refocus.  This will be some of your best spent time in your day.
3. Start and end your day in purposeful peace. Most people wake up, jump straight into their day, and start out feeling overwhelmed.  Most people end their day by mentally reviewing all of the things you didn’t get done that day.  You are literally programing your brain to feel constantly overwhelmed.  Instead, take 30 minutes at the beginning of each day to do things that bring peace to your heart and mind.  I use that time to get spiritually connected. Before you go to bed, focus your mind on the vision of what you are trying to create.  Feed your brain before you go to sleep, and let your mind chew on that all night long while you sleep!  You’ll be amazed at the change it makes in your productivity.
4. Embrace the challenge. I don’t invite challenge into my life.  I much prefer to live in peace than in struggle.  But, when challenge shows up, I also don’t run from it, hide, or blame myself or others for it showing up.  Sometimes life comes with challenge. Sometimes business comes with challenge.  Sometimes relationships come with challenge. When it comes, I simply ask myself, “What can I learn from this challenge?  How will I keep moving forward with this challenge?  And how can this challenge be used to bless me, my family or others?”  Then I “attempt” (I’m still a work in progress), to be patient with myself and others during the challenge.  I find that the faster I learn the lessons, the faster I get to move through the challenge.

I know that building a business is hard.  I ask my clients to work extremely hard.  I also do not view hard as a bad thing.  

Often time we chose our struggles.  But not always. You may be in the midst of a struggle you did not invite and cannot send away.  What you CAN do is use these suggestions to get rid of the feeling of overwhelm.  When that feeling is gone, you’ll be AMAZED at how much better you can handle those challenging situations. To get excess information executive business coach and you can also visit our blog.

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Have you found “The One?”

There are a lot of decisions to make as a business owner!  Who to purchase from, who to sell to, what email marketing program is best… the list of decisions is longer than this article!  Let’s talk today about coaching.  Do you need coaching?  What type of coaching do you need? And how do you know if you are choosing the right coach?  These are really important questions to ask yourself before stepping into a coaching relationship.

So here is your step by step guide to hiring a coach!

Do I need a coach?

Maybe.  Coaching is about education, accountability, and having someone push you to your next level.  I work with at least one coach a year, sometimes two.  I am at a point in my business where I am looking for pretty specialized coaches to teach me specific skills.  But there are other times where I don’t need a coach to create growth. I need to invest into systems, hiring or marketing.  Here’s how I make that determining decision.  I ask myself the question, “Am I not progressing as quickly as I want because I am lacking in skills or education?”  If the answer is yes, it’s time for a coach.  If the answer is no, it’s time to invest into other areas.

There is a lot of information available for free or low cost.  You can learn almost anything online.  If you’ve been on my webinars, you may recall that I learned how to butcher chickens on Youtube.  It’s truly amazing what you can learn for free. If you are finding that you have a lot of unimplemented information, that is also a sign you need a coach.  Learning and doing are not the same.  It is easy to get into information overload with all of the freemiums and youtube videos you have watched over the years.  A coach can help you map out a plan to implement.

If you are looking for someone to inspire you and motivate you to work, you probably need a power partner not a coach.  I will be honest, it frustrates us as coaches to have to try to talk you into working.  We know you are not getting your money’s worth because we spend all of our time pulling you out of the ditch instead of teaching you our awesome business skills! A power partner is a peer in business.  The two of you can offer each other encouragement and support.

What type of coach do I need?

There are different types of coaches, make sure you are clear on what you are needing.  If you are looking for personal growth and development, you want a life coach or personal mentor.  If you are looking for specific business education, strategies and training, you need a business coach.  I am always careful of people that claim both.  They may do both, but I need to know what side of the fence they are on.  As a coach who has done both life and business coaching, I know that they are not the same.  I also know that coaches have preferences for what they like to do better.  I LOVE doing personal development coaching mixed in with business.  But I would prefer not to work with people who just want a life coach.  If you come across a hybrid coach, make sure you understand what they like better so you know if they are a good fit.  There are also health coaches, finance coaches, relationship coaches and softball coaches.  You wouldn’t want your softball coach working on your business.  And you wouldn’t want your finance coach teaching you to improve your swing.  As coaches, we believe in the transformation that comes through our programs.  We witness the life changing success our clients have.  We see that when they improve in one area, others improve as well.  I love that so many of my clients come out of my program with stronger marriages.  But if someone comes to me wanting to strengthen their marriage, I am going to refer them to another coach.  Don’t buy into 1 solution for everything.  Find what you need to focus on first and find a coach who is great at it.

Why do coaches have a no- cancellation policy?

Most coaches have a 3 day cancellation window.  After that, there are no cancellations or refunds.  The reason for this is that there is a big unknown in every program sold.  You are the unknown!  A health coach cannot guarantee weight loss for someone who eats ice cream every day.  And a business coach cannot guarantee results for someone that doesn’t do their homework.  With any coaching program you will get out what you put in.  If you are concerned about signing an agreement with a no-cancellation policy, ask yourself why?  Are you unsure about the program?  Are you unsure about the coach?  Are you unsure about the commitment of time?  Or are you just nervous to move forward? Your deciding and committing needs to be done before you enroll in the program.  Once you are in, you need to be fully invested to make the most of your investment.

How I do know if this is the right coach for me?

Everyone makes decisions differently.  Some of my clients just feel right about the decision and go with their gut. Others research and review testimonials of past and current clients.  This is an important decision and you should make it as you make all of your important decisions.  If you go with your gut, feel free to make that decision quickly.  If you like to research and get to know people, do that.  All coaches that are serious about their businesses have videos, blogs, events or webinars where you can get to know them for free.  Many coaches have a low cost program where you can experience them for very low risk.  Some people move fast, others take their time.  Both are fine as long as you feel right about your decision! 

For more details : you can visit our web site : http://amywalkerconsulting.com/ .

amy walker professional speaker

Influence Has An Evil Twin?

Influence is as good as gold in business. Not only do we want it, we need it. A marketing plan that doesn’t influence prospective customers is a failure. So is a manager who can’t influence a team to collaborate. But influence has an evil twin, and it’s called “manipulation.” We like to think they’re worlds apart, that we aren’t manipulative people. But the truth is the two are more closely related than we’d like to admit.

In the world of social media, anyone who leaves angry is likely to leave loudly.

Anytime you’re leading a conversation toward a certain conclusion, seizing on some of your interlocutor’s comments while skimming over others in order to win them to your side, you’re toeing the line between influence and manipulation.

Still, the line is there. And one way to distinguish it is by considering outcomes. Influence builds lasting relationships of trust—with customers, colleagues, employees—and sustains that trust over time. Manipulation can get results faster, but they’re often fleeting. Before long, someone’s going to clue in and leave angry. And in the world of social media, anyone who leaves angry is likely to leave loudly. Not only have you crossed a moral threshold that might make you wince, your reputation could suffer serious damage. Here are four ways to exert influence without being manipulative.

Balancing Strengths And Weaknesses?

Everyone has their own strength and weakness. Manipulation tends to zero in on weaknesses, though. Say you sell a weight-management supplement. Overweight people would be your target audience. You can market it by highlighting the hardships commonly associated with being overweight, like not being able to do certain activities or difficulty finding a romantic partner. In other words, you can shame your customers into buying your product—and it would be manipulative because you’d be playing to their weaknesses (or worse, your wrongful perception of them).

A more influential approach wouldn’t necessarily dismiss the drawbacks of being overweight, but it would balance them out with the upsides of improved physical fitness. Your campaign wouldn’t resort to tired stereotypes about people with certain body types. Instead, you’d emphasize how everyone deserves the benefits of an active lifestyle.

And the Winner Is . . .

Influence is about creating win/win situations.

It’s always important to ask who wins in these sorts of conversations. Influence is about creating win/win situations; manipulation isn’t: “We both get what we want by collaborating” vs. “I get what I want at others’ expense.” Imagine a saleswoman who’s low on her weekly quota. Does she nab the next person who walks through the door and try to guide him to whichever product she can sell at the highest profit? Or will she take that person and do her best to fill his needs so that he walks out happy, and she’s closer to her goal?

Does It Feel Icky?

Sure, icky isn’t the most scientific term, but trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Adjust your approach so you err on the side of influence. There’s really no such thing as being just a little manipulative—you’re manipulating someone or you aren’t.

Choice Matters?

Does the person you’re working with have a choice? And can she see that she does? Manipulation often comes from a “this is your only option” mentality. It makes someone feel like she has to do what you’re suggesting or else she’ll never succeed. When I’m leading my team, selling, or marketing, I always want the people I’m working with to choose my approach. I want them to see that I am their best choice. But I’m always careful to position myself as just one of their choices—all of which are theirs to make.

Does the person you’re working with have a choice? And can she see that she does?

Some business leaders and sales professionals hesitate to influence others as decisively as they should because they don’t want to be manipulative. It’s a good and honorable instinct, but it can hold you back, too. As long as you’re clear on these simple principles, you don’t have to worry or hesitate! Don’t miss out on the rewards of exerting influence if you’re afraid of its evil twin. See more...!