business leaders

Out Earning Your Husband

I work with a lot of women!  They are passionate, smart, and amazing.  A re-occurring fear I see in these successful women is that if they out earn their husbands, it will in some way hurt their husband or their relationship.  The cold hard truth is that it CAN happen.  But it does not have to happen.

I’d love to share with you some very honest and personal advice.  These lessons took me a long time to learn, and I learned them through some personal pain.  I hope it helps you on your journey!

1. Your spouse is worth so much more than their paycheck.  Part of the reason I was struggling to out earn my husband was because I was looking at him as a paycheck.  If I earned more, then my activities were more important.  Wow is that an unhealthy way to build a marriage.  Find your spouse’s true value.  Then recognize, appreciate and applaud them for the value they bring into your life.  It will make a huge difference as your paycheck starts to get bigger when both of you are very secure in where your true value comes from.
2. Fill your spouse’s emotional needs.  Often times when a business starts to grow, it puts a strain on the marriage.  I get it!  Building a business is physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually consuming.  We eat, breath, and dream our business.  It’s hard to unplug and sit next to your spouse watching a game when there is so much to do.  That level of distraction is not conducive to building a strong marriage!  And often times the business gets blamed.  It’s not the business’ fault!  It’s a sign that you need to start speaking your spouse’s love language!
3. Stay on the hunt for resentment.  Resentment is one of the most dangerous emotions to any relationship.  It is also one that I am very prone to.  There are times when I love being the main provider and doing what I love.  I am so grateful for my husband supporting me in this journey.  But there are also moments, when I get overwhelmed and all of the sudden it’s like a switch goes off and I start resenting that I have to work.  For me it happens often right after I have a new baby.  It’s so important that I watch for those emotions and clean them up immediately.  Resentment is a business killer and a relationship killer.  Watch for it!
4. Talk about it.  Ask your spouse how he/she would feel if you out earned them.  Ask what they would like to do if you were providing more.  Your business could be the key to your spouse really living their dreams.  But you need to talk about it first so that you can all be on the same page!
5. Don’t shrink to make your spouse feel better about themselves.  The BEST thing you can do for your relationship is be your BEST self.  It is hard to break through and change when you have a spouse that isn’t ready to change with you.  But if you change with a commitment to loving and respecting your partner, and keep yourself balanced between business and family, it will be the best thing you ever do! For more details you can visit here: http://amywalkerconsulting.com