time management

4 Myths About Living Life On Your Own Terms

In the entrepreneur world we talk a lot about creating the life we desire.  We talk about financial freedom and time freedom.  We have a rosy picture of living life on your own terms.  And we talk about it as though it is something we will achieve.  It’s a moment of arrival.  The moment when we can look around and say, “This is the life I always dreamed of.”

Many dream the dream, few achieve the dream.  I’ve coached many people as they transition into the life they want.  Some were already highly successful in terms of paycheck, but were not living the life they wanted.  Some were dirt poor and created financial success.  Some started poor and ended poor.  Some started with more money and ended with less.  How can that be possible?  It’s pretty simple, money is not the ultimate indicator of success.

As a coach I see a few BIG misconceptions that keep people from the life they want.  When you subscribe to these philosophies, you are likely to find yourself feeling like you are on a rat race, constantly chasing a life that is always out of reach.

Fiction: Having enough money will allow me to live the life I want.

Fact: Money is a magnifier. If you are already living life on your own terms, money will enhance that.  If you are not, it will also enhance that.  For example, if family time is a high priority for you, but you are working too much, more money to you will look like more responsibility and still not enough family time.  You can find yourself feeling like you can’t take time off because your business or job requires so much of you.  And you can’t walk away from the paycheck because the family needs you to provide for them.  You’ve created the golden handcuffs. The trouble is, you made your money living out of your values so you created a system that requires you to stay out of your values.

Fiction: I have to earn living life on my own terms.

Fact: We choose to live life on our own terms.  At some point every person who is truly living a life according to their own rules wakes up and chooses to live life that way.  It always involves risk.  It always involves change.  It always involves breaking the status quo.  Most of the truly wealthy people I know made that change long before their fortunes showed up.  In fact, they created their fortunes through an intense determination to create the life they wanted.  It’s not about how many years you work in corporate America before you branch out on your own.  Last week I spoke to a college Senior who is finishing up her last semester of college and is NOT looking for a job because she is launching her business.  And you know what, she is already making more money than MANY experienced entrepreneurs.  She didn’t earn that, she chose it, and created it.

Fiction: Living life on my own terms is easier than following someone else’s plan.

Fact: (Lets just laugh for a moment at how silly that myth is hahahahahahahaha!  Okay now back to the reality.)  If it was easier, everyone would be doing it.  It’s hard to say, these are my priorities, these are my boundaries, and no, I will not chase dollars to get by.  All successful people are willing to fail.  We don’t like to fail, we don’t do it often.  But we are all willing.  We said goodbye to oursafety nets a long time ago. (check out my popular blog post on getting rid of safety nets.) 

Fiction: My life will look like so and so’s when I am living life on my own terms.

Fact: That is the fastest way to be dissatisfied with your life. When I look at my industry, people are on planes every week posting where they are going to speak.  Their hair always looks awesome.  They have designer clothes and go on fancy vacations.  If I chase that life, I end up feeling very empty.  I’m not a minimalist.  I like my big house and my Bosch mixer a little too much for that.  But simplicity fills my soul.  Comparison is an easy game to start, and an impossible game to win.  If I compare, I feel like I need to get hair extensions, lose 20 lbs, be dressed up at all moments just in case an Instagram worthy moment arises, and that I need to be on TV and speaking in front of large audiences every week in order to be successful.  That life does not bring me joy.  But you know what does?  My life. The one where I spent a few hours on Saturday cutting down underbrush with my boys and husband. The one where I get to spend the day working in the same room as my husband and where I can walk out and see my little guys any time I want. The one where I can wear a plad purple shirt I bought at Walmart 3 years ago on sale for $4.99.  And one where I can influence people around the world while sticking close to my beautiful small town simple life.  I LOVE being home with my family.  That is what life on my terms looks like.

Stop waiting for what you think living life on your own terms looks like and JUST START CHOOSING it EVERY day!  business strategy