time management

Are You a People Pleaser?  You need to read this!

Question:  Did you click on this post just because you didn’t want me to feel badly that you weren’t reading my articles?  If so, you might be a people pleaser.

People pleasing is tough business.  While we KNOW it is impossible to make everyone happy all the time, we wish that we could.  And we find ourselves constantly TRYING to please as many people as humanly possible. But it comes with a very high cost.  The cost is our happiness and our sanity.

We are in a “fun” (not fun) phase at the Walker house where one of our toddlers cries EVERY night at dinner time.  The 4 year old is generally sad that he has to eat every night.  He is determined that he hates all food.  He could eat the exact same food at lunch or breakfast and it would be fine, but once you say dinner, we are in full on freak out mode. I’m pretty sure the 3 year old screams more for fun.  I think it’s one of his favorite past times. I’ve tried a lot of things over the years to learn how to stop worrying about making everyone happy, and believe it or not, my crazy toddlers have taught me so much about this destructive habit.

Let me share with you some POWERFUL insights into how to overcome your persistent people pleasing.

What is the goal?

If I go into every dinner with the desire for my family to like it, every single dinner is a fail.  Literally every one.  He cries at restaurants, he cries over pizza.  He cries over anything related to the word dinner. (I know how badly you all want to psycho analyze his behavior, trust me I’ve done it too, and I promise he is a really delightful boy for about 22 hours a day.  But at dinner and bedtime a beast is unleashed.)

If I go into dinner with the goal to provide a healthy meal for my family, every night can be a win.  And if I’m going to have the patience to deal with the unhappy people, I NEED to be clear that I created what I intended to create.  It makes a huge difference in how I handle myself in the experience.  It also creates a more positive experience for everyone else.

Spend less energy trying to convince people they are happy.

When we first entered this phase, we all tried to convince the littles that they really do like dinner.  “You like chicken.  You eat it all the time, Remember?”  “A taco is kind of like a pancake, only with meat on it, not syrup.”  “If you dip broccoli in spaghetti sauce it tastes delicious. Mmmmm!” But it doesn’t matter how much we try to convince them they like dinner, they throw huge fits!

Instead, I have started telling them, “I am sorry that you don’t like this.  But in our family we eat healthy dinners.”  The three year old eats as soon as he has lost interest in screaming.  And the four year old makes gagging and retching noises with horrified faces with every bite, but he does eat.

Do what makes you happy.

When I realized there was no way that I could keep the whole family happy, I actually started trying out some new foods that I love.  I’ve started making Green Curry Thai noodles with coconut sauce.  They are AMAZING!  I have started buying and cooking Brussel sprouts.  And as I am cooking things that I love, my older boys are starting to eat them too.

The bottom line is that life is so much more enjoyable when you realize the only person you really need to please is yourself.  The best gift I can give everyone in my life is the happiest and best version of me.  I give you permission to disappoint as many people as it takes to get to that place.  Because the ones that love you want that for you anyway. For more details: business leaders Visit here: sales skills

business strategy

It’s Time To Rekindle Your Love Affair With Schedules

There is something about the planner isle that makes me tingle every time I walk through it. The promise of productivity, being on top of my game, and looking stylish while I do it, is a definite turn on. Even the smell of the leather makes me feel somehow more professional and put together. Every blank page seems to hold promise that I can do better and be better. They seem to whisper to me, “Buy me, and together we can conquer anything.”

It’s quite the experience.  And I no longer buy planners.  See, I’ve learned over the years that they are like that guy in high school who was gorgeous (and knew it), and flirted with you just enough to keep you hoping you had a shot.  But in the end, he was nothing more than empty promises and disappointment.

My love affair with schedules started when I was fairly new in business.  I would create these beautiful, functional, perfect schedules.  I almost felt the pleasure of accomplishment while making them because success seemed so inevitable.  All I had to do was follow the plan!

Then three weeks later, I would be beating myself up with the words, “All I had to do was follow the plan!!!!”  After all, how hard can it be?  It’s all written down!  It makes perfect sense!  There is clearly enough time to get everything done!  Something must be wrong… with me.

My first love affair with schedules ended up being a semi-abusive relationship with me being both the victim and the abuser.

Fortunately I have learned some CRUICIAL tips that have helped me embark on a new, and much more positive relationship with schedules.

Honor your flow

Every schedule I ever created for myself in the beginning went completely against the flow of my body, brain, and life.  For example, I used to schedule for myself to get up at 5 am, and I planned to work every evening and weekends so that I could be with my kids and be Martha Stewart at home during the day.  The problem is, I HATE waking up at 5 am.  I can bounce out of bed at 6 am and sing and dance while I get my kids ready for school.  But 5 am?  Oh no!  Watch out.  Nothing is funny.  Everything takes me twice as long, and I feel tired ALL DAY LONG.  My body hates 5 am.  I also LOVE working in the mornings.  I’m super creative and focused.  So rather than try to force yourself into a schedule that goes against everything you love about living life, just create a schedule that honors your flow.  I promise, it becomes soooo much easier to stick to!

Do more of less
My evil schedules always involved me doing a LOT of stuff.  Long to do lists, big projects, jumping back and forth between tasks, working while managing kids… That schedule seriously required me to put on some spandex and turn into super woman.  And I could never live up.  Instead, I now give myself more time for everything I do.  We always seem to underestimate how long everything will take.  And I do more of fewer things.  For example on Monday, I do nothing but work on the administrative side of my business.  I spend the whole day in my CEO role.  Now, I do a lot within that role, but I do not require myself to also make videos and respond to emails and hold coaching appointments.  I allow myself to FOCUS on one area of need.

Plan your downtime

A schedule that packs every minute of every day with productive activities is super bossy and we just don’t schedules like that.  Create a schedule that gives you time to think, eat lunch, and go to the bathroom!  Last year my assistant in charge of my scheduling sent me a text one morning that said, “If I lived closer, I’d bring you some depends today.”  I looked at my schedule and sure enough, I had about 8 hours’ worth of appointments and NO bathroom break!  And I had authorized that!  How am I supposed to show up to be my best when I am not even honoring myself enough to have some downtime?  Your brain needs time to rest.  Your body needs time to eat and stretch and get fresh air.  And your soul needs time to play.  Schedule all of that in.

Maybe you’ve been struggling with a horribly bossy and controlling schedule that demands more of you than you can ever give it.  If so, break up with that schedule.  Maybe you left a schedule behind a while ago because it just didn’t bring you happiness anymore.  I invite you to rekindle that love affair with your schedule and create one that actually works!  It’s 2016, the year is just getting started.  Imagine what you could create together! For more details: Business growth.

business leaders

Attracting Clients: When to Push and When to Pull

I love hearing people talk about attracting in clients. We all love when new clients show up! And I do have some miraculous stories of the right person showing up at the right time. The stars aligned, and I found myself with that wonderful new client. But not all the time.

Unfortunately there is no special client attraction cologne or perfume. There is no magic formula for how to go viral with a video. I’ve looked.

There are times when you have to push your message, product or agenda, to get it in front of the right people. And there are times when you use the energy of what you have created to pull in people. It’s like a dance. And to do it masterfully you need to know when to make the right move.

Times to push: Push marketing is when you are pushing to get your product or service in front of potential clients. Examples would be:

1. Trade Shows/Expo Booths
2. Holding classes or product demonstrations
3. Finding retail locations to sell your products
4. Webinars
5. Email Marketing

Almost all businesses need to be engaged in push marketing when they are in start up mode. It is the quickest way to get to the point of sale and it is usually the least expensive. Anytime cash flow is slow,you need to be engaged in push marketing campaigns. May-August and the month of December are slow times in my industry. You better believe I will be engaged in push marketing during all of those months. The first year and a half of my business, I was VERY engaged in push marketing. We needed to build a client base, and I wanted to build it quickly. If you are looking for fast growth, definitely time to push.

Time to Pull: Pull marketing is when you draw clients to you. Examples would be:

1. Referrals from Existing clients
2. Public Relations and Media appearances
3. Radio Shows
4. Advertising in radio, television, or print. (Direct mailers would be push)
5. Sales and discounts
6. Customer relations and internal upsales

In order for pull marketing to work, you have to have some people in the flow, or some cash in the flow. It requires resources. When you have an established client base, and cash in your budget pull marketing will help you take the business to the next level. Pull marketing can build your brand recognition and help you spread your reach.

Bottom line, you should always be pulling and pushing, just in the right proportions. For new businesses or old businesses that aren’t profitable yet, I recommend that the majority or your time and marketing budget be spent on push marketing. Once you are profitable adjust that number and start to invest in the right type of advertising and PR. But, I’ve yet to reach, or see any of my clients reach the point that they don’t benefit from some good old push marketing! For more details visit here: business strategies

business strategies

The Real Reason I Am In Business

I still remember the day that I told my kids I was starting my own company.  It went like this:

Kids: “So you are going to be the boss?”

Me: “Yes.”

Kids: “So you get all the money and make everyone else do the work?”

Not so much!  Being a business owner seems so glamorous… until you actually start a business!  Then it quickly turns into a LOT of work and a HUGE learning curve!  As I’ve been working with my clients and team this week and watching them go through the challenges of learning and growing in their business, it’s been a great chance for me to reconnect with the REAL reasons I am in business.

Business is where I grow, refine, and become a better person.  I could make a HUGE list of all of the non-monetary gains that have come through me being in business.  I am more confident.  I am more humble.  I’m better at conflict resolution and communication.  I can talk to almost anyone anywhere.  I know many of the amazing inspiring people I have looked up to over the years. I have better vision for my future.  I am better at making things happen.  Because of my business skills, I really am a better wife and mother and I am more capable of serving in my church and community.  Some days I honestly feel like, “Can I just be done with the personal growth already?”  Sometimes I get tired of seeing another weakness that I need to adjust.  But the truth is, life is about learning and growing.  I used to learn and grow through the challenges of life and trying to get by.  Now I am so blessed to be able to learn and grow while doing what I truly love.

I have a voice and influence.  The more people I meet, the more I believe that if every one of us really shared and lived our core message, we would change the world.  In my core I am passionate about strengthening women so that they can fulfill their missions.  When you impact a woman, you impact her entire community.  That message is a part of me.  It would be a part of me whether I was in business, being a stay at home mom, or working for someone else.  The fact that I have a business just gives me a stronger voice.  I have access to people through my weekly articles, through social media, radio interviews, and speaking events.  Business is a vehicle to reach and serve more.

My family has more opportunities.  I’m not just talking about vacations or extracurricular activities.  I’m talking about character building opportunities.  Right now my family is being blessed to serve another young family at a time when they need some help.  I love that we are able to help and my boys are learning to put others needs above their wants.  My boys understand that if you have something important to accomplish that you can do anything with a good strategy and hard work.  They don’t take anything for granted.  They see how hard we work in our business and they see how we sacrifice and juggle to put our priorities in order.  My children are learning lessons that I don’t think I would have been able to teach them if I was not in business.

I know there are discouraging times in growing your business.    There are moments where you think, “Is it really worth it?”  You think the thought, “Would it just be easier to get a job.”  In many cases the honest answer to that question might be yes.  It might be easier to get a job.  That doesn’t mean you should.  You have more value than you are probably even aware of.  You have the ability to change not only your reality, but to bring others along with you.  Keep going.  Don’t give up.  This is about so much more than a paycheck. For more details: business strategy

business growth , time management

The Real Reason I Am In Business

I still remember the day that I told my kids I was starting my own company.  It went like this:

Kids: “So you are going to be the boss?”

Me: “Yes.”

Kids: “So you get all the money and make everyone else do the work?”

Not so much!  Being a business owner seems so glamorous… until you actually start a business!  Then it quickly turns into a LOT of work and a HUGE learning curve!  As I’ve been working with my clients and team this week and watching them go through the challenges of learning and growing in their business, it’s been a great chance for me to reconnect with the REAL reasons I am in business.

Business is where I grow, refine, and become a better person.  I could make a HUGE list of all of the non-monetary gains that have come through me being in business.  I am more confident.  I am more humble.  I’m better at conflict resolution and communication.  I can talk to almost anyone anywhere.  I know many of the amazing inspiring people I have looked up to over the years. I have better vision for my future.  I am better at making things happen.  Because of my business skills, I really am a better wife and mother and I am more capable of serving in my church and community.  Some days I honestly feel like, “Can I just be done with the personal growth already?”  Sometimes I get tired of seeing another weakness that I need to adjust.  But the truth is, life is about learning and growing.  I used to learn and grow through the challenges of life and trying to get by.  Now I am so blessed to be able to learn and grow while doing what I truly love.

I have a voice and influence.  The more people I meet, the more I believe that if every one of us really shared and lived our core message, we would change the world.  In my core I am passionate about strengthening women so that they can fulfill their missions.  When you impact a woman, you impact her entire community.  That message is a part of me.  It would be a part of me whether I was in business, being a stay at home mom, or working for someone else.  The fact that I have a business just gives me a stronger voice.  I have access to people through my weekly articles, through social media, radio interviews, and speaking events.  Business is a vehicle to reach and serve more.

My family has more opportunities.  I’m not just talking about vacations or extracurricular activities.  I’m talking about character building opportunities.  Right now my family is being blessed to serve another young family at a time when they need some help.  I love that we are able to help and my boys are learning to put others needs above their wants.  My boys understand that if you have something important to accomplish that you can do anything with a good strategy and hard work.  They don’t take anything for granted.  They see how hard we work in our business and they see how we sacrifice and juggle to put our priorities in order.  My children are learning lessons that I don’t think I would have been able to teach them if I was not in business.

I know there are discouraging times in growing your business.    There are moments where you think, “Is it really worth it?”  You think the thought, “Would it just be easier to get a job.”  In many cases the honest answer to that question might be yes.  It might be easier to get a job.  That doesn’t mean you should.  You have more value than you are probably even aware of.  You have the ability to change not only your reality, but to bring others along with you.  Keep going.  Don’t give up.  This is about so much more than a paycheck. For more details: business leaders you can also visit here: sales skills

business development strategies , sales skills

Do You Have Conflicting Desires?

This morning as I was writing in my spiritual journal, I was feeling conflicted.  I have a very real part of me that longs to be a stay at home mom.  Sometimes I am at peace with the longing, but other times it becomes a very real ache.  I want to do projects around my house, play with my toddlers, get my kids off to school before I even have to think of getting myself ready, and be 100% available when they come home from school.  I want to play legos when I feel like it.  I want to sweep my floors every day and always have a clean kitchen. I want to do the play groups and go to lunch. (I know every stay at home mom reading this is rolling their eyes because that is probably not realistic.)

Please understand that I love and am grateful for my business.  I also have longings in my business.  I want to have a million dollar company (soon).  I want to speak on stage to thousands of people.  I want to be featured on TV and radio shows.  I want to make a difference in the lives of my clients.  I want to continue to see the growth and change in the people around me.  I want to feel like I am pushing myself and learning and growing in new ways all the time.  I want to have nice clothes without spit up, boogers or peanut butter on them.  I love that people listen when I speak and that I have earned respect.  I love that I have a voice and I wouldn’t want to give that up for anything… (Except maybe legos and DIY projects… or maybe not…)

Do you see why I was feeling conflicted?  Over the years I have stopped fighting my conflicting desires and have learned to manage them by feeding both.  But there are still times, like now, that I don’t feel in balance.  Right now my family needs me more.  We are settling into a new life.  I am surrounded by boxes.  My kids are starting new schools and don’t know anyone in their schools.  I want to make sure they are doing well.  I want to arrange play dates.  I need to nest and nurture.

But my business is also requiring time and attention.  My clients, who I love, are in the thick of growing their businesses.  My marketing, admin and sales teams all need guidance and direction from me.  If I don’t show up, it slows down everything and will affect other people’s success.

What’s a girl to do?  Now you see my very honest dilemma.

As I was pondering, praying and journaling this morning I had a new inspired thought.  “Amy, both are righteous desires.  All righteous desires come from Me.  They are in harmony and one in purpose.”  That was a new, beautiful, and eye opening thought.  I knew that The Lord approved of and supported me in both of my roles.  I knew that I was on the correct path for me, my life and my family.  But this is a new level of understanding for me.  God is the Great Unifier of hearts and minds.  Even mine.

I still believe in structuring and organizing my family life and business life.  But I am adding in a new segment.  Every morning I will ask the question to my Maker, “How can I serve today?”  Whatever comes into my mind, I will do.  And I will do it with faith that as I serve God, my desires to serve my family and serve my clients will not compete.  They will fit together perfectly.  I will find peace in only having one desire:  To serve my God with everything I have. To get more details: http://amywalkerconsulting.com/

time management

Money Doesn’t Buy You Happiness, How You Spend It Does

Ahhh the ever waging battle between scarcity and abundance mindset.  I don’t know exactly where I developed my scarcity mindset, but by the time I was in my mid 20’s, I was living and breathing scarcity.  I couldn’t pay my bills.  No matter the size of my commission check, it never seemed to be enough.  We couldn’t seem to get ahead.  I never had enough time and I needed more time to earn more money.  Poor people were humble and righteous.  I couldn’t ask for sales because then I felt like I was taking from people who probably didn’t have it anyway.  Sound like a hot mess?  It was!

Then I was introduced to abundance thinking.  It was brand new to me.  Like learning a foreign language.  Now I am supposed to tell myself that money flows easily and naturally to me.  I am no longer supposed to say, “I can’t afford that.”  Instead I am supposed to say, “I am choosing not to purchase this right now.”  They felt surprisingly the same to me.  Either way there was still not enough in my bank account to buy whatever the item was.  I remember having this thought one day that I wanted to say yes or no to the things my children requested of me based on what was best for them NOT on what we could afford.  It seemed like such a novel idea.  It was definitely not how I grew up.

The idea of abundance mindset really resonated with me.  It was exciting and I felt hope for the first time in a LONG time.  But it didn’t seem to be translating into my reality.  It honestly took me a few years of playing around with abundance mindset until it really started to click for me.

Here’s what I wish I had known:

It’s not how much you make that matters

I remember feeling like if I could only make ___________, then things would be good.  I would focus on that number, but instead of it creating a feeling of prosperity, it created a feeling of deficit.  I only noticed the difference between that number and what I really had.  I still remember the first month I made $14,000 I felt stressed, scared, and like there wasn’t enough.  My highest paycheck ever led me to one of my biggest “Scarcity attacks” ever.  You see it REALLY isn’t about how much is on that paycheck.  It has so much more to do with how you feel about that number, and what you do with those funds.

How you spend your money does matter!

Abundance is not about if you save or if you spend.  It is about HOW you spend and HOW you save.   If you are blowing through money spending on things that are not going to bring you lasting happiness, you are not living in abundance.  If you are saving money and swimming in your pool of money like Scrooge MacDuck, you are also not living in abundance.  Before I spend on any purchase I ask myself a few questions:

1. Do I need this?
2. Will this purchase/investment make me more money?
3. Will this purchase/investment increase my happiness for an extended period of time?
4. Will this purchase/investment make someone else happy for an extended period of time?
5. Does this purchase/investment continue to produce past the life of the product?

The more of those that I can answer yes to, the more happy I am to spend my money on it.  I can’t stand wasting money.  It is repulsive to me.  I also don’t like watching other people waste their money.

I do spend money on things that I don’t need.  For example, I love making homemade wheat bread for my family.  But, as a busy business owner, I don’t really have time to do it.  When I invested in my Bosch mixer and wheat grinder, I didn’t NEED either of those things.  But it does increase my happiness, and the happiness of my family.  And I really hope that the memories my kids have of mom’s bread, and mom’s commitment to healthy eating outlast the life of my Bosch mixer.

I bought a beautiful rug for my living room.  I did need a rug, but I am sure I could have bought one less expensive.  It wasn’t going to make me money, but I knew it would make me happy every time I saw it.  It is perfectly me and my style.  Creating a beautiful home is something that I believe increases my family’s happiness and I do hope that the memories we create in that room by far outlast the rug.

But there are a lot of things that I choose not to spend on.  We have 1 TV in our house.  We have mismatched dishes and silverware.  We have functional but not fancy cars.  Our dog is not a pure breed, he was a free rescue dog.  I buy just about every item of clothes my family owns on clearance.  I buy good quality shoes that I love, on clearance, and wear them until they are worn out.  Then I replace them.  I think I have 4 pairs of shoes right now.  I own very few movies, CD’s and video games.  I don’t spend a lot on eating out each month.

I am not suggesting that how I spend is good and how someone else spends is wrong.  The key to my spending is that it is right for ME!  I think about what I spend.  I consider every dollar coming my way as a blessing.  And I am thoughtful about how to use that blessing.  And quite often I choose not to spend on things because I want to invest in people.

I invite you to evaluate how you are spending right now.  Are you setting yourself up for abundance or for scarcity through how you spend? To get more details: business strategies we also invite to you browse: sales skills

business leaders

The Three Words That Changed My Son’s Life

I’d like to introduce you to my 3 year old.  He is pure joy in a little body.  He is also the Walker Family wild child.  He is very high energy and has been since birth.  When I was pregnant with him, I felt like he was trying to kick his way out.  Until, of course, it was time to come out and then he tried to climb his way back up and refused to come out.  He was our first to crawl, walk and talk.  He can create pure chaos in a matter of seconds and when he was about 15 months he was getting into a lot of trouble.  He would hit, kick and bite his brothers.  He was destroying our house and making messes at lightning speed. He may have thought his name was “No” because that is what he heard all the time.  He received a lot of negative feedback and didn’t seem to mind at all.  As his mother, I was worried.

One night in great frustration, I had to put him to bed.  Here is this little angel face with demonic actions staring up at me and I knew I had to do something different.  He was squirming and going crazy and I asked him softly, “Who loves you?”  He looked at me with his big eyes, smiled and said, “Mommy wubs me!.”

That was the beginning of change in our home.  I asked him this question every night before bed, “Who loves you?”  He always started with Mommy, and then I would ask, who else?…  and who else?…  until we had come up with a good list.  Behavior started to change.  We were able to transition from hitting people to hitting the couch and then the hitting slowed down.  It still hasn’t stopped.

Now he is helpful, happy, and a little less destructive.  We still keep a close eye on him.  Some may say that is the result of him getting older.  That is part of it of course.  But the real reason my son is soooo much happier and easier to deal with is because he KNOWS he is loved.   When someone knows how much you love them, they want to make you happy.  They want to perform well.

If you are struggling with a team member or difficult client, instead of going in and addressing their behavior and performance first, consider taking a side door.  Consider increasing the love and decreasing the judgment.  Consider putting your frustration aside in order to do what is best for them.  And consider that once they feel truly loved, a lot of the challenges you are currently having with them will adjust without you having to fix anything.

Leadership is a key part of success in business.  And being a great leader starts with love and service. For more details: business strategy you can also visit here: time management