10 Tips For Becoming Successful And Staying Crazy In Love, And Strong In Your Faith
I was paid a wonderful complement this week by a couple of clients. They said, “It’s so hard to find a successful woman in business who is still married, and still active in their faith. We really appreciate your example.”
It really got me thinking about how I keep the core areas of my life strong while I grow my business. While this post is NOT a commentary on why other people’s faith falters, or why their marriage doesn’t work, I do want to share what I do to keep my commitments to faith and family.
- Know where you want to end up. More than success, money, or fame, I want my family to be strong and to honor my commitment to God. Base every decision you make around that.
- Never apply the “short term sacrifice, long term gain” mindset to your family and faith.Just because your marriage is strong today, does not mean it will be strong in 5 years. Marriage requires constant care. And the more you put into it, the sweeter it gets. We are closer today than we were when we started building this business because we make an effort to date, talk, and support each other.
- Don’t get selfish. When you are building your business, it is 100% consuming. Every project feels major. Every deadline brings pressure. It is so easy to get caught up in feeling like your business activities are the most important. They are not. Family prayer is important. Daily scripture study is important. Your spouse’s desires are important.
- Don’t seek for love, approval, and acceptance from business success. Let’s be honest, it feels amazing to win in business. When I get on stage in front of an amazing audience and they love my training, it fills me up. But it isn’t love. Love is a husband who is patient with me when I am grumpy, critical, sick, and even selfish. Real is a marriage that is built ever day with small, simple acts of kindness. And most of the time, it doesn’t feel all that rewarding. The rewards come, but not so immediately. Be clear that your successes should be celebrated, but never used as a replacement for love and acceptance at home. If you aren’t getting that at home, work on creating a new dynamic there.
Set healthy boundaries with clients and colleagues. I rarely do lunch or dinner with another man. I’m not saying never, sometimes I have client meetings where I just simply have to feed them! But I made sure that our conversations stay on business. If I feel like someone is getting flirty with me, or I realize I am getting flirty with them, I end the conversation quickly. I ask all of my male clients about their wives and encourage them to big decisions with them. When possible I try to meet their spouse. I speak of my husband and family positively and frequently. I want everyone to know that I honor their marriage and mine.
- Grow in confidence and humility. As our success grows, so does our confidence. I am bolder, more sure of myself, and more capable of making big things happen than I was 10 years ago. And as that grows, I have to be cautious of pride. I still pray over the majority of my decisions. When I feel like I have outgrown the other women at church or that I don’t fit in, I recognize that feeling for what it is: A lie told by Satan. Children of God are all equals. When we each stand before God in Heaven, I’m sure He will not be impressed by how much money I made. I’m sure he will care more about how I helped, served, and treated others. It takes humility to stay close to God as you become more capable on your own.
- Do not connect your spouse’s value with their paycheck. As your business becomes more profitable and you out earn your spouse, it can be a challenge. Maybe the husband used to make more, and now the wife is more profitable. That can be hard for the husband who has to redefine his value. It can also be hard for the wife who starts to feel like she no longer “needs” her husband. Your spouse is valuable to you for so many reasons. Pay attention to those. Be patient with each other as you go through the transition.
- Give each other space to change. I am not the same woman my husband married. She was a girl who had no ideas of being an entrepreneur or starting a business. I was going to be a stay at home mom and raise babies. He was going to be a psychologist. While I’ve grown in confidence, he has grown in compassion. We, and our marriage are getting better with time. But we are clearly, not the same. We have both had to adjust and get used to the other person changing. Fall in love with the current version instead of lamenting the one that isn’t around anymore.
- Remove any splinters in your relationship with spouse or God. Money is a magnifier. It enhances the good or the bad. Business comes with a lot of pressure. It will pull apart anything weak. If your marriage isn’t strong now, strengthen it. If your faith is weak, build it up. I spend time daily strengthening both.
Grow together not apart. One of the challenges I hear frequently from clients is that they are growing, and their spouse is not. It creates friction in the relationship. It only creates friction because you let it. The idea that two different individuals are supposed to be 100% in sync all the time is crazy. Sometimes I go through a massive growth phase and my husband doesn’t. He is not into personal development books and CD’s. I am. Does that make him wrong? He has read the scriptures probably 10 times more than I have. Does that make me wrong? We all need growth, but just like two different types of plants express their growth differently, so do we. I may grow in a more visible way, but I guarantee, his roots are deep and strong. You do not have to wait for your spouse to grow. Just grow, become your best version of yourself. And love your spouse as they are, as they were, and as they will be. For more details: http://amywalkerconsulting.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment